Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
