Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
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The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
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And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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