This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
