I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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