is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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