Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
