i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
