It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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