I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
