Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize