i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
