I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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