when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
