I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize