I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
