But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Randomize
