and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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