Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
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