ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it glows. i had to have it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
