hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I want a musical about memes.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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