We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
