dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
