No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
