That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
