i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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