In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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