I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize