There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
