I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
