so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
