I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
