Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
