I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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