If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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