Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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