so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We got so high we made milksteak
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize