all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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