if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
