I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
