his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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