dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
