I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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