Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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