i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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