She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
