I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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