so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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