i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
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