On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
