i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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