it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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