Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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