Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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